Simple Simon

A squire had three sons. The first two were very clever and knowledgeable. But the third one was called Simple Simon, as he did not know much and was very simple.

One day, the princess of a neighbouring kingdom announced that she would marry the person who could outwit her in speech.

The two clever sons decided to go and try to woo the princess over. Simon decided to go along with his brothers to give them company.

The squire gave his first two sons splendid horses for the journey while Simon rode a billy goat.

On the way, he found a crow, a clog (a cooker with a tin handle), and some fine mud, which he put into his knapsack. His brothers laughed heartily at this.

When they reached the princess’s palace, the first two brothers, like so many others, became tongue-tied in the princess’s presence.

But Simple Simon remarked “Oh! This place burns like a furnace.” “I am roasting cockerels,” said the princess.

“It is hot enough to roast a crow as well!” said Simple Simon.

The princess quickly replied, “Only if we had a pot or pan, for I have none.”

“Well! Here’s a clog,” said Simon.

“What about the gravy to go with the dish?” asked the princess. “This fine mud will be just right,” said Simon.

“I will marry you, for you are so witty,” said the princess. So Simple Simon married the princess and became a prince.